EARWAX IN FLORIDA

I had to flush my ear out with a syringe last night. Before the flushing came the peroxide. After the peroxide came the bubbling in my ear as peroxide met the two big chunks of wax that were lodged right up against my ear drum (I didn't know about the two big chunks until they flew out of my ear during the syringe blasting, mind you). Before any of this, though, was me ramming a Q-tip waaaaay too deep into my ear canal. Don't do that. Also, especially don't do that a few days before you go to Florida, where you will no doubt immediately swim upon arrival. Because if you do do that, you will end up like me - taking a dip in the pool and then not being able to hear a thing out of your left ear and the whole left side of your head will feel like it's been filled with water and sealed in with, well, wax. And then, if you do research on the web like I did, and put alcohol in the affected ear as I did as a result of the findings, like i did, it won't just be water trapped in your ear. It will be alcohol, too. And then you'll really start freaking out because, if you're on day one of a ten day vacation that includes three days swimming with kids in Florida and then seven days in Mexico snorkeling in caves with Joey Gill who is really more manatee than man, well, it's a very, very awful, disappointing kind of feeling. But, luckily, if you're like me, you will, just before midnight, go to Walgreen's and buy a syringe kit, which you will use most effectively because your stepfather will be around to help you because he himself has ear problems and is a seasoned pro at irrigating the canal that connects the inside of your head to the world outside of it. Yes, if you're like me, that will happen, as I happened to me last night, on my first day in Florida. In Pompano Beach.